learning from what they say..
When you heard someone say bad things about you or your family behind you...dont be mad. It might be a good chance for you to know your self better, and to know him/her better. Although this kind of person might not be a good friend. A good friend is always willing to help you, in one and other way including helping you to be a better person.
But instead, you still can learn from your enemy. Enemy will always look for your weakness. And they will always try to make you look bad :-(
But it's not as simple as a saying. First you must be honest to yourself. Think about what their say about you that make you sad and hurt. If in any condition, or any reason what they say is true, means, you learn something about yourself. You should be thank them for showing your weakness so you have a chance to make yourself a better person. If you will...
And if what they say is not true, you know what to do.
But sometime, you must put yourself on their shoes. Think as they might be thinking, not yours. Expect what they might be expected from you, not what you expected from them. See things on their view, so you can know them better. And you learn to know your real 'enemy'...
In my book, if I have a problem with someone, that might be my mistake or theirs. It is easy if the problem is in me, I will come and say sorry. Because for me, an apology means a lot, it's not showing your weakness, it shows your good heart.
But if you do not want to through all of these thinkings, I give you a shortcut.
If you notice that they have similar problem with someone else beside you, good luck..it might be they are the one who got problems. Not you.
But if the situation are on your side, you know what to do..